Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
