Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
4 words: hood of his car
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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