i was born a porn star she said
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
