Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
