Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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