my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
