he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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