so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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