afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When are your genitals available?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
