Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
is that a dick in a sweater?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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