; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
