Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
