Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
