If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
MIDGETS
????
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
