Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
