You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
