i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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