mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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