I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
