New low: just hacked my moms facebook
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
