You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
