You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My bed smells like the plague
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
