I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
