Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
