Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
