What a fucking waste of an outfit
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
