I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
