suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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