you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
