If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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