we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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