One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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