Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
