You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
