the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
