on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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