someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
