I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
