I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
