so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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