The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
