it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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