i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
