I hate all girls vehemently.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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