You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
