so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
