So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
