ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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