I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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