nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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