I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize