She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
