I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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