question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
