At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
